


The Misguided Matchmaker

by muse_apollo



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Asexual Character, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Fluff, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Misunderstandings, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, POV Tim Stoker (The Magnus Archives), Polyamory, Trans Female Character, Trans Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Trans Male Character, Trans Martin Blackwood, Trans Sasha James, bulllying elias, elias bouchard (derogatory), eventual polyamory, poly dynamics, the shenanigans in this fic get to shakespearean comedy levels of ridiculous, tim is poly and bi and cannot cope with how many crushes he has
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:20:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27429340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muse_apollo/pseuds/muse_apollo
Summary: “It’s Jon, isn’t it?”Martin goes suddenly very still, turning his gaze to Tim with wide hazel eyes. “I- er- I’m not sure I know- What?”Tim feels his face split in a grin. “So it is Jon! I was just guessing!”“It-” Martin fumbled for a moment, then sighs. “Tim can we please not do this?” His brow is a deep furrow, his eyes near pleading behind his glasses.“Yeah, alright.” Tim pauses. “You could probably do better, you know.”“Tim!” Martin’s ears are a bright shade of scarlet, and Tim feels his smile grow wider.“I’m serious!” He elbows Martin in the arm. “You’re a real catch, that grouchy little hermit doesn’t know what they're missing.”- or -Tim finds out about Martin's crush and decides to take matters into his own hands, with some unexpected consequences. Matchmaking isn't easy when you have a crush on every single one of your coworkers.
Relationships: Elias Bouchard/Peter Lukas, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist/Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood/Tim Stoker, Sasha James/Tim Stoker, eventual jon/martin/tim/sasha
Comments: 301
Kudos: 360





	1. our boy’s got a crush and he’s got it bad

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hello I couldn't get bi/poly tim out of my head and so here is this...

It had started out simply enough. With Martin staying in the archives for worm-related reason, both Tim and Sasha had become slightly worried about him. It wasn’t exactly the ideal sleeping situation, after all. That being said, the two of them had come up with something of an arrangement to ensure that Martin was properly cared for. This generally entailed one of them staying a bit later, chatting with him for a while before heading home. It wasn’t like _Jon_ was the best company. 

Regardless, the whole thing was fairly simple until Tim had picked up on the fact that Martin had a crush on someone. It was easy to pick up on, especially now they were spending more time together outside of a work situation -not that Tim had ever been a model employee-. It was little things at first, the way Martin would stare off into space, that soft, wistful look in his eye, his lips curling up in a little smile as though lost in a daydream. 

Sasha hadn’t agreed, when Tim had pointed it out to her.

“Oh, come off it, Tim.” She’d chided. “He’s been through a lot recently, it’s perfectly reasonable for him to be distracted. 

“It’s not that he’s distracter, it's the _sort_ of distracted he is. That distant, swooning look in his eye. I’m telling you, our boy’s got a crush and he’s got it _bad_."

“If he does, I’m sure he doesn’t want you meddling,” she snapped back. “But I’m sure you’re just misreading it.”

“A fiver says I’m right.”

Sasha’s lips pulled back in a sly smile, never able to resist a bet. “You’ll give the poor boy a heart attack,” but there was no bite to the words. 

“So is that a no?”

A deep sigh. “Fine, you’re on.” 

And that was what had lead Tim to his interrogation of Martin. He’d concluded that he had been correct in his assumption that someone had caught Martin’s interest, though Martin himself had been very tight-lipped with regards to whom. 

It was because of his hesitance that Tim concluded it must be one of the archive staff, and while he would have loved to press his interrogation further, Martin did seem quite distressed by the whole affair. Of course, Tim didn’t believe Sasha’s comment about giving the other man a _literal_ heart attack, but he decided it was best to relent, come back to it later.

Of course, that didn’t stop him texting Sasha to gloat. 

*****

**Tim:** You owe me a fiver ;)

 **Sasha** : You got him to admit to it???? I’m almost impressed

 **Tim:** I’ll have you know a little charm goes a long way

 **Sasha:** You pestered him into admitting it didn’t you?

 **Tim:** You can’t prove that

 **Sasha:** Alright, so who is it? 

**Tim:** Not sure yet. Haven’t quite cracked him

 **Sasha:** Well damn. Our little Martin with a crush… 

**Tim:** *stares wistfully into the distance* they grow up so fast

 **Sasha:** lsjjfflsdjdflksj

 **Sasha:** Okay, but seriously, don’t push him too hard. He’s a delicate boy. 

**Tim:** lskjfllsj don’t worry I’ll take good care of our little marto 

**Sasha:** Why do I not believe you?

 **Tim:** ;)

*****

He waited a few days before he brought it up with Martin again. Tim had stayed late that evening to keep Martin company and the two of them were sitting in the storage room having a last cup of tea. He’d put together the rest through context clues, and so he elected to ask it outright. 

“It’s Jon, isn’t it?”

Martin goes suddenly very still, turning his gaze to Tim with wide hazel eyes. “I- er- I’m not sure I- _What_?”

Tim feels his face split in a grin. “So it _is_ Jon! I was just guessing!”

“It-” Martin fumbles for a moment, then sighs. “Tim can we please not do this?” His brow is a deep furrow, his eyes near pleading behind his glasses.

“Yeah, alright.” Tim pauses. “You could probably do better, you know.”

“Tim!” Martin’s ears are a bright shade of scarlet, and Tim feels his smile grow wider. 

“I’m serious!” He elbows Martin in the arm. “You’re a real catch, that grouchy little hermit doesn’t know what they're missing.”

Martin buries his face in his hands, a low groan falling from his lips.

“Have you thought about telling them?”

Martin meets his gaze then, hazel eyes wide and nervous. Like a startled little deer of a man. “I- I don’t think that would be a very good idea.” 

Tim places a hand on Martin’s shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. “Okay, start small. Try small talk… establish rapport, make friends?” 

“They're not exactly fond of me.” 

“Well, that’s because you haven’t let them see the real you. If they won’t look, _make_ them look.” 

“Easier said than done.” 

Tim chuckles at that. “I believe in you, Marto.” He stretches for a moment, back popping audibly. “I should get going.” He yawns. “Getting late. You’ll be alright?”

“Yeah.” There’s a long pause, and then Martin glances up at him, lips pulling up in a small smile. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

Martin frowns deeply at that. “Caring enough to ask, I guess?”

Tim shoots Martin a pair of finger guns, punctuated by a charming smile. “You got it.”

As he makes his way out of the building, Tim can feel the gears in his brain begin to turn as he makes a plan.

*****

11:55 pm

 **Tim:** It’s Jon.

 **Sasha:** Oh?????

 **Sasha:** i guess that kind of makes sense tho

 **Sasha:** actually explains quite a bit about Martin

 **Tim:** right? This whole time Martin has been simping for our boss and we didn’t even realize.

 **Sasha:** okay they would be kind of cute tho

 **Tim:** hard agree

 **Sasha:** so what are we gonna do about it? 3:)

 **Tim:** Sasha I would literally die for you

 **Sasha:** ;)

 **Tim:** ok so heres the plan… 


	2. should we put jon in the group chat then?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tim and sasha scheme, martin is stressed but also very cute, jon has no idea what they've gotten themself into

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was suprised by how much good reception I got for this.... thank you all so much!

**Tim:** ok so heres the plan…  
**Tim:** Im going to annoy jon into spending more time with us…   
**Tim:** and then once they’re around martin enough theyll have no choice but to get a crush on him  
**Tim** : because LOOk at him!!!!

**Sasha:** I mean, you’re not wrong martin is literally the cutest thing  
**Sasha:** Like when he gets excited about knitting or cows or something and starts talking very fast i just 0w0

**Tim:** skhfkjshafkjsh sTOP  
**Tim:** you’re so right tho

**Sasha:** okay but   
**Sasha:** annoying jon might not be the best option. If you irritate them too much they might retreat even further into being an office hermit

**Tim:** ok fair point  
**Tim:** what do you suggest?

**Sasha:** we have to play by jons rules if we want them to fall for it.   
**Sasha:** What about pub night?

**Tim:** are you suggesting we get our boss drunk?   
**Tim:** because if so  
**Tim:** YES

**Sasha:** those are your words  
**Sasha:** i’m suggesting a workplace bonding experience through spending time together outside of the office

**Tim:** clever  
**Tim:** i like it  
**Tim:** wonder what jon drinks? Bet its something pretentious 

**Sasha:** i feel like they either have really specific taste or literally no knowledge of alcohol there’s no in between 

**Tim:** okay so how are we gonna convince them to come

**Sasha:** leave that to me… this needs a delicate hand  
**Sasha:** not your strong suit, no offence

**Tim:** none taken  
**Tim:** I have OTHER talents ;)

**Sasha:** shut up  
**Sasha:** okay but i’m going to sleep now

**Tim:** really? It’s not even 12:30?

**Sasha:** Tim we start work at nine am tomorrow

**Tim:** and??? rip to you but i’m different

**Sasha:** I do worry about you sometimes /j  
**Sasha:** goodnight, see you tomorrow

**Tim:** night <3

*****

Sasha to Tim  
2:30 pm

**Sasha:** got em

**Tim:** OH???? How did you do that that fast

**Sasha:** I’m very persuasive  
**Sasha:** also i told them if they didn’t agree to it you’d probably keep bothering them until they did

**Tim:** ksdjflsjflk YOU DID NOT

**Sasha:** ;)  
**Sasha:** I’m kidding obviously, i just said some bullshit about workplace bonding boosting team morale and they agreed. It was surprisingly a lot easier than i thought it would be

**Tim:** huh  
**Tim:** have you told martin yet?

**Sasha:** not yet. Something tells me you’d like to do the honours

**Tim:** you know me so well ;)

**Sasha:** go easy on the poor boy, you don’t want to go scaring him

**Tim:** yeah yeah… i get it

*****

Tim half walks-half-skips into the breakroom to where Martin is currently labouring over the kettle. He taps Martin on the shoulder, causing the other man to nearly jump out of his skin. 

“Christ, Tim!” Martin claps a hand to his own chest. “You scared me.”

“Sorry.” Tim grins. “Have you heard the news?”

“Oh god, why do I feel like you’re about to tell me something terrible?”

Tim laughs at that, leaning an elbow against the counter. “It’s nothing bad I promise.”

Martin lets out a heavy sigh, looking for all the world as though he doesn’t quite believe him. “Alright. What is it then?”

“Sasha got the boss to agree to come out for pub night with us this Friday.”

“I-” Martin cuts off, his face seeming to go through ten different emotions in a few seconds before settling on something halfway between dread and utter confusion. “J-jon?”

“Well… I mean I obviously wasn’t talking about  _ Elias _ so yes, Jon.”

Martin nods slowly, his eyes staring blankly at the space just to the right of Tim’s shoulder for a long moment before he blinks a few times, seeming to come back to himself. “Okay.”

“You alright there, Martin?”

“Yeah it’s… fine.” A pause as Martin’s lips force themselves into a rough facsimile of a smile that definitely does not reach his eyes. “Everything is… fine. I’m fine.”

Tim reaches out to pat the other man on the shoulder reassuringly. “It really won’t be so bad Martin. You’re overthinking it. Consider it an opportunity to let them see the you outside of the workplace.”

“Right.” Martin nods just once. “Okay but what if… just for example… they don’t  _ like _ what I have to offer…”

Tim’s brow furrows at that. “What’s not to like?” 

Martin blanches a bit at that. “You mean other than the obvious?” 

“Listen, I mean this in the kindest way possible, if you continue to be mean to yourself, I am going to have to kick your ass. I don’t make the rules.” 

“Sorry.” Martin ducks his head just a bit at that.

“Seriously, don’t apologize.” Tim shakes his head at that. “But really Martin, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You’re a catch and old grouchypants would be lucky to have you. They just don’t pay enough attention. They’re loss really.”

“Thanks Tim. That really means a lot.”

“But you know, if that doesn’t work out, I’m always here to offer you a shoulder to cry on.” He punctuates the words with a wink, and Martin’s cheeks go suddenly very red. 

“Shut up, Tim.” He sputters, and something warm flips in Tim’s chest. 

“Well.. we really should be getting back to work before bossman comes out and has a conniption when they see we’re wasting time.”

Martin just laughs at that.

*****

4:09 pm  
Tim to Sasha

**Tim:** told martin,,,, 

**Sasha:** how’d he take it?

**Tim:** think he had a little breakdown at first  
**Tim:** but he’s okay now

**Sasha:** so he’s cool that jon’s coming then? I wouldn’t wanna make him uncomfortable

**Tim:** yeah he’s all good

**Sasha:** okay good  
**Sasha:** I’m kind of excited 

**Tim:** same  
**Tim:** I reeeeeeaalllyyyy wanna see what kind of drunk jon is it’s gonna be so ufn   
**Tim:** *fuc  
**Tim:** ** FUN 

**Sasha:** it’s okay take your time :) 

**Tim:** this is workplace harassment. I’m filing an hr complaint.

**Sasha:** suuuree ;)   
**Sasha:** I think this’ll be good for him tho   
**Sasha:** like even if they don’t end up getting on, it’ll give him some closure

**Tim:** yeah exactly  
**Tim:** so should we put jon in the groupchat then?

**Sasha:** yeah go for it

**Tim:** k 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, your comments are welcome and appreciated, I love hearing what you guys have to say


	3. Sasha James, did you just agree to commit murder with me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drinks part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really surprised with the reception of this so far, I'm so glad you guys like it!

**_Archives Chat  
_ ** 4:15 pm  
**_Has the Braincell_ ** _ added  _ **_Jonathan Sims_ ** _ to the Chat _

**Marto:** oh, alright then  
**Marto:** Hi Jon!

**Jonathan Sims:** Hello Martin. What is this?

**Has the Braincell:** Oh, this is the chat we all use to make plans! I thought I’d add you since you agreed to come to drinks on Friday.  
**Has the Braincell:** It’s Sasha btw sorry about the nicknames they get confusing

**Timbourine:** Welcome to the shitshow bossman!  
**Timbourine:** Wait is ‘man’ okay?

**Jonathan Sims:** Yes, that’s fine in this context.   
**Jonathan Sims:** Thank you for asking though.

**_Timbourine_ ** _ set  _ **_Jonathan Sims’_ ** _ nickname to  _ **_Bossman_ **

**Bossman:** is that really necessary?

**Timbourine:** part of the deal… join the chat get a nickname!

**Bossman:** Right then.   
**Bossman:** So… was that everything or?

**Marto:** I’m really glad you’re coming friday jon! I think itll be a lot of fun!

**Timbourine:** oh yeah it will ;)))

**Has the Braincell:** Tim don’t scare them off please.

**Timbourine:** So Friday at seven thirty right?

**Bossman:** I thought I’d already agreed to that.

**Timbourine:** yes well… just making sure we’re all on the same page

**Marto:** Tim, we do this every week 

**Timbourine:** and?

**Has the Braincell:** we all let each other know in advance if we’re not gonna be free on friday. 

**Timbourine:** Alright well sorry for double checking jeez /j

**Bossman:** /j?

**Marto:** It means joking, because that doesn’t always translate over text 

**Bossman:** ah… that’s actually very helpful thank you Martin.

**Marto:** No problem! :D

**Bossman:** Now, I suggest you all get back to work. The day isn’t over just yet.

**Timbourine:** hnnnn fiiiiiiiiinnnneee

*****

**_Tim_ ** _ to  _ **_Martin  
_ ** **** 4:23 pm

**Tim:** Simp

**Martin:** :((((

**Tim:** Wait no stop don’t be sad I’m sorry  
**Tim:** Please forgive me I’ll do anything

**Martin:** :)))  
**Martin:** Then perish

**Tim:** D:

*****

Friday night rolls around, and Tim is buzzing with a pleased sort of excitement. He and Sasha are the first two to arrive, finding a corner booth and securing a corner booth before grabbing their first drinks. Martin arrive next, he’s clearly put work into picking out his outfit for the night; a pair of fitted corduroy pants, and a pale blue knit cardigan over a white dress-shirt. He looked a little nervous as he approached where the others sat. 

“Marto!” Tim slaps a hand affectionately on the other man’s shoulder. “Looking great by the way.” 

Martin’s cheeks flush just a bit at that, making his freckles seem all the more noticeable against his skin. 

“I- well- thanks Tim.” He slides himself into the booth beside Tim. “So no sign of Jon yet?”

“Not yet.” Sasha glances at the time on her phone. “But really Martin, we’re all here early, I’m sure they’ll get here eventually.” 

“Right… yeah.” 

“Don’t look so nervous, get yourself a drink. You’ll be alright.” 

Martin nods, slipping out of the booth again and going to the bar. When he’s out of range, Tim leans a bit closer to Sasha. “Poor boy looks like he’s gonna have a heart attack.” 

Sasha nods solemnly. “Really does. Do you think this was a bad idea?”

Tim scoffs at that. “Course not. Way I see it, it’ll be good for them to spend a little time together outside a work environment, help Martin see Jon as a real person rather than some unattainable ideal.”

“You’re probably right.” 

“Course I am, I’m a genius.” Tim beams at her. 

Sasha laughs, and a loose piece of hair falls into her face, and Tim is once again reminded of his own embarrassing crush, the one he’s had for years on end. “Well… that jury’s still out on that one.” 

Before Tim can respond, Martin returns, clutching his pint glass with two hands like a lifeline. He slides into the booth, wedging Tim between himself and Sasha, and taking a long sip of his drink.

“Buck up Marto.” Tim bumps their shoulders together. “It’ll be alright.” 

“I’m fine. Really.” Martin says, rather unconvincingly, but both Tim and Sasha elect not to mention it. 

It’s nearly eight o’clock when Jon arrives, looking a little haggard as they enter, glancing around in confusion before catching sight of Tim waving them over rather enthusiastically. Jon makes their way across the bar to the booth, pausing when they arrive at the booth. “I’m sorry I’m late.” They say, a bit breathlessly. “I got a bit caught up in some files, lost track of time.”

“That’s okay!” Martin’s voice cracks just a bit as he speaks. “We’re just glad you’re here!”

“Right, well then.” Jon smiles, looking a bit uncomfortable. “I’ll get myself a drink, be back in a moment.” 

Tim watches Martin watch Jon wander off in the direction of the bar, shaking his head just a bit. “Leave it to them to stay past five pm on a  _ Friday _ .”

“Leave it.” Sasha chides, and Tim ducks his head just a bit. 

“Alright. I’ll be nice. For Martin’s sake.” 

The night goes relatively smoothly after that, Tim is pleasantly sandwiched between Martin and Sasha, sipping his drink and watching with some joy as Martin hangs off every word that falls from Jon’s mouth.

Jon, to their credit, is remarkably intelligent, and Tim can admit there is something endearing the way their eyes light up when they speak on a subject of particular interest, hands moving animatedly to emphasize their points. He's a bit preoccupied watching the two of them when he feels his phone buzz in this pocket. 

**_Sasha_ ** _ to  **Tim  
** _ **** 9:20 pm

**Sasha:** this is incredible

**Tim:** omg jon is such a chatty drunk I wasn’t expecting that 

**Sasha:** RIGHT aKJDFHKJSHFKJSHF   
**Sasha:** between that and martin’s giggly tipsy i’m gonna have a meltdown

**Tim:** they’re both so cute i’m gonna LOSE it  
**Tim:** being poly is just low-key wanting to kiss all of your friends huh?

**Sasha:** ksjhfkjsfkjsfh MOOD  
**Sasha:** okay but seriously if martin gets any closer to jon he’ll be in their lap this is getting ridiculous

**Tim:** right??? And like… Jon doesn’t even seem to MIND  
**Tim:** We’ve done a good thing tonight 

**Sasha:** so long as Jon is still willing to be nice on Monday

**Tim:** they better be  
**Tim:** or else

**Sasha:** Tim… are you threatening our boss?   


**Tim:** And what if I am?  
**Tim:** Are you a fucking narc?

**Sasha:** course not  
**Sasha:** when it comes to Martin I’ll help you hide the body if need be

**Tim:** Sasha James  
**Tim:** did you just agree to commit murder with me?

**Sasha:** no comment

**Tim:** I love you so much

*****

It becomes very apparent very quickly that Jon does not drink very often. Apparent by the fact that its not all that long into the night that Jon is slumped down a bit in their seat, laughing more, and talking animatedly with both Tim and Martin

Its around ten thirty that Sasha announces she needs to turn in, apparently having some sort of family thing happening tomorrow that’s relatively unavoidable. Goodbyes are had, hugs from both Tim and Martin, and a nod and a wave from Jon.

“Keep me updated.” Sasha whispers in Tim’s ear.

“Will do.” They share a grin as they part. 

“I’ll see you all Monday!” Sasha smiles.

There’s one more shout of goodbyes before Sasha leaves. Tim settles back in the booth, throwing a lazy arm around Martin’s shoulder.  “So! What do you all say to another round?”

“Well… I mean, I’m fine with that. I’m having a good time, as long as everyone else is?” Martin ducks his head a bit. 

“Jon?”

“Yeah, alright. One more.” They chuckle just a bit, Tim isn’t sure he’s ever heard them laugh before. It’s a deep, throaty sound. Pleasant. “I reckon I’ve earned it, considering everything that’s been going on."

“That’s the spirit boss!” Tim breaks out in a grin. “I’ll be back in a mo.” And then he stands and heads in the direction of the bar. 


	4. Arson!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> drinks part 2! jon is tipsy and cute, Martin suggests arson

Tim takes a bit longer than is strictly necessary collecting drinks, allowing the two of them a bit of time to talk to one another in relative privacy. Not that he thinks either of them will be capable of competent flirtation.

When Tim gets back, Jon is giving Martin an in-depth lecture on the fermentation process of alcohol and Martin is listening with rapt attention, the corners of his mouth twisted into a soft kind of smile. Tim places the drinks in front of each of them before slipping into the booth with a wide grin. 

“What are you two on about?”

“Oh!” Martin seems to come out of a daze a bit. “Jon was just explaining to me how alcohol fermentation works! It’s actually really interesting… apparently you can make your own from uhhh… apple juice and yeast… if you sterilize the jug first…”

“Like bottled apple juice?” Tim’s brow furrows at that.

“Yes… well it’s not very  _ good _ but it gets it done in a pinch… if one were ever in the situation where they needed to know that sort of thing…” Jon looks down just a bit, suddenly trailing off.

“Good god, boss. You sound like you’ve done it before.”   


“Well… when you’re broke in uni sometimes you have to resort to more desperate measures…”

Tim cackles at that. “Do tell us more about your sordid past… Ever commit a criminal offence?”

“Tim!” Martin interjects. 

“Nothing you can prove.”

That startles a laugh out of Tim, and Martin’s jaw falls open in response. “Oh my god Jon what did you do?”

Jon just shakes their head, the corners of their mouth pulling up in a small smile. Tim hasn’t really seen Jon smile so much and their smile is… nice actually. Martin definitely notices as well, if the way he’s looking at Jon is anything to go on.

“I’ll never tell.”

“Fine, keep your secrets.” A pause. “If you could commit one criminal offence, what would it be. I think I’d rob a bank.”

“Arson.” It’s Martin who speaks, immediate and straightforward.

“Martin!” Both Jon and Tim speak at once, and Martin laughs. 

“What?” He hides a smile behind the rim of his glass, his face gone pink from drink and from the attention on him.

“You came to that conclusion far too quickly for comfort.” Jon replies. “Do I have to remind you I don’t allow sources of ignition in the archive?”

“No…” Martin looks somewhat crestfallen at that.

“Don’t worry Marto,” Tim pats him on the shoulder. “I’m sure you’ll get your opportunity for arson eventually. Maybe you can start a fire in Elias’ trash bin or something.” 

“Despite the fact that it would be very funny, you absolutely cannot start a fire in Elias’ trash bin.”

“Jon, don’t be a spoilsport.” Tim chides. 

“Actually, it would be a bad idea to commit arson at a location you’d be directly tied to since then they can catch you.” Martin says with a wide smile. “Theoretically of course.”

Jon blinks at him. “You know more about this than I’m comfortable with.” 

While they banter, Tim slips his phone out, holding it below the table. 

_ Tim  _ to  _ Sasha  
_ 11:32 pm

**Tim:** You’re not gonna believe this

**Sasha:** oh???  
**Sasha:** I am looking

**Tim:** first jon revealed they know how to make their own alcohol and used to do it back in uni and now martin is explaining to jon the best way to commit arson and get away with it

**Sasha:** OH?  
**Sasha:** I am both terrified and fascinated by these developments

**Tim:** Same  
**Tim:** between that and your hacker skills i'm beginning to think we should form a crime syndicate or something  


**Sasha:** oh my god you're right we'd be unstoppable  
**Sasha:** Okay, but what IS the best way to commit arson and get away with it?

**Tim:** according to martin, purchase all the supplies with cash, obviously learn the cctv layout before  
**Tim:** also not to pick a place you can be directly tied to  
**Tim:** which unfortunately means we can’t burn down the institute :(((

**Sasha:** tragic  
**Sasha:** maybe we can start a little fire in elias' trash bin  


**Tim:** :D

****

The rest of the night is much of the same, Jon and Martin were getting along well enough, and Tim was more than happy to take the back seat on that.  When it was time to leave it became apparent that Jon was in no fit state to get home on their own, stumbling just a little as they stood. 

“Alright?” Tim reached out to catch Jon’s shoulder, instinctively helping them rebalance.

“Yes, thank you Tim.” Their face flushes just a bit. “I may have… overindulged slightly.” 

Tim grinned at that. “Sure you’ll feel that tomorrow.”

“How were you planning on getting home?” Martin furrows his brow. 

“I was going to take the tube.” 

“Well… we could probably get you a cab, if that’s easier, that way you can get back to sleep it off.” He looks a bit nervous as he says it, face flushed.

“That’s really not necess-” Jon starts, but Tim interjects. 

“It’s no problem, really. We’ll both pitch in. Better you get home safe. Besides it’s not like Elias doesn’t pay us enough.” 

“He’s gotta be good for something.” Jon snorts, and Tim’s jaw drops before he lets out a startled laugh. 

“Well, I know you’re drunk if you’re talking shit about the bigboss.” A pause, and a shake of his head. “Let’s get you home shall we?” 

After Jon is safely piled into the back of the cab with a promise to send a text when they get home safe, Tim and Martin get ready to leave, Martin is shuffling his feat awkwardly, hands balled up in his pockets.

“Well… I guess it’s back to sleeping on that cot in this institute for me.” Martin scuffs his shoe on the pavement. 

Tim furrows his brow just slightly. “I could come back with you if you wanted? Keep you company…”

Martin looks up at him, blinking in surprise. “You really don’t have to, you know.”

“Yeah, I know.” Tim beams at him. “But I want to. It’ll be fun! Like a sleepover!”

“Well… alright then.” Tim could have sworn he saw Martin’s cheeks flush just a bit at that, but it could have just been the alcohol. 

"Come on," Tim throws an arm around Martin's shoulder. "Let's go then." 

_ Archives Chat  
_ 12:30 am 

**Bossman:** made it home sfae  
**Bossman:** seaf  
**Bossman:** SAFE  
**Bossman:** there  
**Bossman:** goodnight all

**Marto:** goodnight jon! Sleep well!  
**Marto:** drink water!

**Timbourine:** martin and i both got home safe too for when sasha definitely reads this in the morning 

**Timbourine** _ set  _ **Marto’s** _ to  _ **Arsonist's** **Lullaby**

**Arsonist's Lullaby:** :0  
**Arsonist's Lullaby:** they’ll never find the evidence anyway :)))

**Timbourine:** D:

*****

There were a few extra blankets that Tim and Sasha had brought into the archives to make things a little more comfortable for Martin while he stayed there. Tonight the extra blankets were constructed into a small pile for Tim to sleep in on the floor beside the cot. Neither of them was all that tired, and so they stayed up talking for a little while before they settled in.

“Can I ask you a question?” Tim glances up at Martin. 

“Uhh… okay?” 

“What is it about Jon specifically?”

Martin jumps a bit at that, hazel eyes wide and nervous. 

“I mean, don’t get me wrong,” Tim pressed on, “they’re nice to look at and all, but they really don’t treat you very well.” 

Martin sighs, his gaze dropping to the floor. “I know it’s just… I don’t know. Sometimes it’ll be like… ‘I am done with this, I am moving on’ but then they’ll do that thing where they furrow their brow really intensely because they’re deep in thought, or they’ll make a little sound after they take their first sip of tea that means they like it and I just-”

“Alright, alright.” Tim laughs. “You can stop now. Please stop before I throw up.” He bumps Martin’s arm with his shoulder. “Kidding of course.” 

“Ass.” Martin yawn’s then. “I think it’s about bedtime for me.”

“Alright. Goodnight Martin.” 

“Goodnight Tim.” 

Tim settles into his blanket pile, pulling one up over his head, there’s a warmth in his chest as he drifts off to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just think martin should be allowed to start a fire in elias' trash bin, as a treat :)


	5. “I think we should start a gang”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the archive staff starts a gang and tim gives jon a little intervention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly i've been so surprised about how popular this has been so far, i'm so glad you all like it though, you're comments and kudos give me life, thank you all so much.

The next morning Martin blinks at Tim blearily, there are pillow creases on his cheeks and his curls form a messy halo around his face. Tim is more than a little hungover, but he can’t help but smile as he meets Martin’s gaze. It’s the first time he’s seen Martin like this, disheveled and sleepy having not yet had his morning tea, and Tim can hardly imagine much cuter than this. It’s absolutely ridiculous to think that Jon  _ doesn’t  _ want to kiss him; never mind that Jon can go so far as to be hard on him at times. 

They have a lazy, hungover breakfast in the break room, and then Tim heads home, making sure that Martin will be alright first. His phone buzzes as he’s leaving, and sure enough, there’s a text from Sasha. 

**Sasha** _ to  _ **Tim  
** 9:30 am

**Sasha:** hows the secret mission going?

**Tim:** ;)  
**Tim:** wouldn’t you like to know…

**Sasha:** Timothy stoker you tell me or so help me god I am Coming for your Knee Caps

**Tim:** D:  
**Tim:** fiiiiiine  
**Tim:** it wasn’t much more than what happened after you left ust like…. Jon got super drunk and martin was so worried about them and had to like,,,, help them into a cab and it was really soft

**Sasha:** oh god i wish i saw that   
**Sasha:** i love that so much   
**Sasha:** was glad to see you all made it home safe

**Tim:** we’re not completely incompetant 

**Sasha:** i’ll believe it when i see it

**Tim:** :P

_ Archives Chat  
_ 11:30 am

**Has the Braincell:** glad to see you all made it back okay! Hope no one is too hungover! Please drink water

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** i’m doing okay! Had some tea, caffeine helped! Tim and i did a slumber party last night which was also nice

**Bossman:** I am alive, thank you for asking.   
**Bossman:** only just.   
**Bossman:** once again, thank you Tim and Martin for the cab home, I’m not sure I would have been able to stay awake on the tube.   
**Bossman:** I’m a bit embarrassed if I’m being honest

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** Jon you were fine! Really!! No need to worry

**Timbourine:** yeah boss! You’re all good we all hit it a bit too hard sometimes   
**Timbourine:** would love to hear more about that criminal past though ;) 

**Bossman:** oh god 

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** it really wasn’t anything embarrassing you were just teaching me how to make alcohol! Honestly i thought it was interesting :))

**Timbourine:** speaking of which  
**Timbourine:** i think we should start a gang

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** ????

**Bossman:** dare I even ask?

**Has the Braincell:** I’m in support of the gang but please elaborate on your reasoning. 

**Timbourine:** okay so we all have some kind of skill required to run a criminal operation  
**Timbourine:** like martin is head arsonist and jon his head archivist  
**Timbourine:** and apparently Jon can run a speakeasy or something if they put their mind to it  
**Timbourine:** and sasha of course, is the brains of the operation with her mad hacker skills

**Bossman:** I really wouldn’t call it a speakeasy

**Has the Braincell:** what does that make you, Tim

**Timbourine:** well that’s easy! I’m the sex appeal ;)

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** oh god

**Timbourine** _set_ **Has the Braincell’s** _nickname to_ **Tech Guy  
****Timbourine** _set his own nickname to_ **Honeypot  
****Honeypot** _changed the chat name to_ **Archives Crime Syndacate**

**Honeypot:** jon can keep ‘bossman’ because it still sounds gang-related enough

**Bossman:** shouldn’t we put starting a gang to a vote at the very least?

**Honeypot:** alright then  
**Honeypot:** all in favour

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** I!

**Tech Guy:** I!

**Honeypot:** sorry jon, it appears you’ve been outvoted  
**Honeypot:** first order of business! Operation let martin do arson for real! 

**Arsonist's Lullaby:** :D

**Bossman:** I am once again begging you all to remember the rule about sources of ignition in the archives 

**Honeypot:** well,,,, there are plenty of places to start fires outside of the archives!

**Bossman:** I’m just going to pretend I didn’t read that.

**Honeypot:** that’s the spirit!

*****

It’s Monday morning and Martin is making his usual tea rounds, pops into Jon’s office. He’s not in there for very long before he emerges again, expression somewhat crestfallen. Tim feels a small flare of irritation at that, because honestly, would it kill Jon to be a little bit nicer? 

Tim waits until Martin has sat down again, before walking over to perch on the edge of his desk. Martin glances up at him with that wide-eyed nervousness he always seems to have when someone startles him. 

“Oh! Tim, you startled me sorry, I just um… thinking about something.” 

“You alright?”

“I yes.” Martin stumbles a bit over his words. “Why… wouldn’t I be?”

“You just looked a little off is all. Don’t tell me. Jon’s back to their usual, abrasive self again?”

Martin sighs. “I just… I don’t know. Maybe I just thought things would be a little bit better after Friday, but it’s still the same. No 'thank you for the tea', just that same scowl and a ‘get back to work’. I just wish I understood what it was I do to annoy them so much.” 

“Martin, I can guarantee it’s not you. Jon’s just… always been like that.” 

“Yeah I guess. But it is me more than you or Sasha isn’t it?” 

“Well, to be fair, Jon knew me and Sasha from before their promotion and hadn’t met you. They tend to take a while to warm up to people, but I’m sure they’ll come around eventually. And it not… Well I’m sure Sasha knows how to hide a body.” 

“Tim!” 

Tim throws his head back in a laugh. “I’m kidding of course!” Still that’s the moment at which Tim makes the decision to have a conversation with Jon. 

****

He waits until Martin leaves for lunch break, knowing that Jon doesn’t tend to take breaks from his work, and when he has lunch at all, takes it in his office. 

He knocks on the door and hears Jon pause from whatever it was they’d been recording. “Come in.” 

Tim pops his head in. “Hey boss, wondering if you had a moment to chat.” 

“Oh, yes alright. What is it Tim?” 

Tim enters into Jon’s office, leaning on the edge of their death, careful not to disturb any files lest he incur their wrath. “I wanted to talk about Martin?”

Jon’s brow furrows deeply at that. “What about him?”

Tim raises an eyebrow at that. “Well, you can be kind of hard on him you know.” 

Jon shakes their head at that. “I’m no harder on Martin than I am on anyone else.”

“Now that’s just not true.” 

Jon sighs. “I don’t understand your need to involve yourself in this, Tim.” 

“It just seems odd, especially considering you two seemed to hit it off the other night.” 

“Well, yes.” Jon stumbles over their words just a bit. “Martin is quite agreeable  _ outside  _ of a workplace context, however there is the matter of him simply being not very good at his job."

Tim snorts a laugh. “I mean… he’s no worse than I am.”

“On Martin’s first day working here he let a  _ dog _ into the archive.” Jon deadpans. 

“Yeah, but that was fun!”

“Was it?” Jon’s lip curls with a hint of displeasure. 

“More of a cat person, are we?” Tim replies with a lopsided grin.

“Yes actually.” 

Tim sighs, he’s clearly not getting anywhere with this line of conversation. “Look, all I’m saying is you could be a little nicer to him. He means well. He’s just a bit accident prone.” 

“Thank god Elias didn’t put him in artifact storage.” Jon mutters, half to themself. 

“ _ Jon. _ ” 

“Alright yes. I’ll try to be…  _ nicer _ .” The word almost sounds painful for them to say, but they manage a forced smile.

“I’ll hold you to that.” A pause. “Also, it’s lunch time. Take a break and eat something.” 

Jon starts to protest, but Tim glares at them. “Alright fine.” 

“That’s the spirit!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very excited about where this is headed.  
> i'm on tumblr @twink-biwalker or on twitter @muse_appollo if you want to talk  
> also i'm open to suggestions if you guys have any kinds of shenanigans you'd like to see happen in this one


	6. Update: Tim has been declared legally dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elias causes problems, tim lays on the floor, the gang plans their first crime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to the discord server for making me wanna work on this some more! This one is all chat. Definitely enjoying expanding this... stay tuned for some... Shenanigans.

_ Archives Crime Syndicate  
_ 9:40 am

**Tech Guy:** oh my god  
**Tech Guy:** did you all see the email

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** yeah :/

**Bossman:** unfortunately. 

**Honeypot:** wait what email?

**Tech Guy:** oh god tim this is gonna hit you worse than the rest of us

**Honeypot:** wait, why?   
**Honeypot:** checking it now

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** wait for it...

*****

Elias Bouchard <ebouchard@themagnusinstitute>

To: Jonathan Sims, Martin K. Blackwood, Timothy Stoker, Sasha James

Hello all, 

I would just like to issue a reminder regarding institute dress code policies. It has come to my attention that some members of the archival staff have been coming to work in unprofessional attire. I would like to remind you all that while the archive is not accessed by the public as often as other parts of the institute, it is still a place of business and we do have an image to maintain. Bright colours and patterns, clothing with rips, and jeans do NOT fall under standard business casual guidelines and are therefore not acceptable in the workplace. 

I have attached a link outlining the specifics of business casual attire in case anyone is confused regarding its parameters. In the future, dress code violations will be met with disciplinary action. 

Thank you,

Elias Bouchard  
Head of the Magnus institute

<link attachment:  [ https://www.thebalancecareers.com/what-is-business-casual-attire-2061168 ](https://www.thebalancecareers.com/what-is-business-casual-attire-2061168) >

****

_ Archives Crime Syndicate   
_ 9:48 am

**Bossman:** is everyone alright? I just heard someone scream

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** that was tim :))

**Bossman:** that doesn’t actually answer my question

**Tech Guy:** it means he’s read the email

**Honeypot:** I cannot fucking BLEIVED THIS  
**Honeypot:** DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS??

**Bossman:** standard business policy?

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** workplace discrimination?

**Tech Guy:** a hate crime?

**Honeypot:** YES!  
**Honeypot:** (to martin and sasha not jon)

**Bossman:** right, fucking off then /j

**Tech Guy:** KSJDFLKJSFJ JON OH MY GOD

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** 999 i just witnessed a murder

**Honeypot:** i-   
**Honeypot:** i have been eviscerated  
**Honeypot:** make sure to tell everyone at my funeral how hot I was

**Tech Guy:** no <3

**Honeypot:** okay but we’re getting off topic  
**Honeypot:** the point is im being personally victimized by our boss  
**Honeypot:** this is biphobia!

**Bossman:** I mean, the email definitely was aimed at you specifically  
**Bossman:** but not all bi people dress like their trying to ward off traffic you know

**Tech Guy:** Jon you are on fire today please  
**Tech Guy:** i’m not sure tim can take much more

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** tim is currently lying on the floor and holding his chest as though he has been shot

**Bossman:** is he really?

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** yes  
**Arsonist’t Lullaby:** sent a photo [image description: Tim is laying on the floor half under his desk. One leg is bent at the knee, and the other is kicked out straight. His left arm is thrown dramatically over his eyes in a manner reminiscent of a fainting Victorian maiden, and his right hand clutches at his own chest as though in immense pain. He is dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans with rips at both knees, red converse, and a pale blue button up patterned with small pink flamingos. Sasha can be seen in the background of the picture, her hand covering her mouth to muffle her laughter]

**Bossman:** I hate to be the one to point it out but….   
**Bossman:** Tim that really isn’t appropriate business attire.

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** update: tim has been declared legally dead. 

**Honeypot:** Stop telling everyone I’m dead!

**Tech Guy:** sometimes i can still hear his voice….

**Honeypot:** we have once again lost the plot  
**Honeypot:** and here I thought i was the bitch with adhd in this chat

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** never assume you’re the only neurodivergent person in the room

**Bossman:** is anyone in this archive neurotypical?

**Tech Guy:** …  
**Tech Guy:** no?

**Bossman:** that explains a lot. 

**Honeypot:** okay but!!! The point!!!! Is!!!!  
**Honeypot:** i will not stand for this discrimination  
**Honeypot:** therefore, i vote we all start breaking the dresscode EXTRA   
**Honeypot:** solidarity!

**Tech Guy:** i’ve got some fun shirts I like to pull out when i want people to know i like women!

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** um… i don’t have a lot of like… super fun clothes? But um… i’ve got some tacky sweaters that i generally wear around the house?? If that works?

**Honeypot:** yes martin!  
**Honeypot:** jon are you in?  
**Honeypot:** i find it hard to believe you own clothes that aren’t business causal but

**Bossman:** you’d be surprised  


**Honeypot:** oh??????

**Tech Guy:** jon please tell us we need to know

**Bossman:** I think it’ll be better you see it in person. 

**Honeypot:** I’m both excited and terrified

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** same

**Tech Guy:** k are we doing this then? 

**Honeypot:** hell yeah

**Bossman:** I don’t mind annoying Elias a bit  
**Bossman:** especially after the condescending tone of the email  
**Bossman:** the fact that he felt the need to include a link... unbelievable.  
**Bossman:** So yes. I'm in.   


**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** I’m in

**Honeypot:** excellent, tomorrow we all show up to work dressed as Unprofessional as Possible  
**Honeypot:** to protest douchard and his blatant biphobia  
**Honeypot:** thus begins the great Archival Resistance

_ Tim _ to  _ Martin  _   
11:08 am

**Tim:** so…   
**Tim:** what do you think jon’s gonna wear?

**Martin:** oh god   
**Martin:** I have no idea  
**Martin:** I’m sure they’ll look good though  
**Martin:** better than I will that’s for sure

**Tim:** Hey! Stop that  
**Tim:** *spritzes you*

**Martin:** sorry :/

**Tim:** you don’t need to apologize, just go easy on yourself! That’s one of my best friends you’re talking about!

**Martin:** i-   
**Martin:** I’m one of your best friends?

**Tim:** well obviously  
**Tim:** what you didn’t realize? 

**Martin:** Guess not.   
**Martin:** you’re one of my best friends too

**Tim:** how could I not be i’m the most charismatic person in this entire institute, maybe even in this country

**Martin:** alright, tone it down there narcissus

**Tim:** dljfhskjdhfkjlh  
**Tim:** i’ll take it  
**Tim:** love u <3

**Martin:** love you too 

**Martin:** <3

_ Martin Blackwood _ has created the chat.   
_ Martin Blackwood _ has added  _ Tim Stoker _ and  _ Sasha James _

**Martin Blackwood:** Hey can I ask you guys’ opinion on something?

**Sasha James:** of course martin!

**Tim Stoker:** yeah!  
**Tim Stoker:** why didn’t you just ask in the other chat?   
**Tim Stoker:** unless it’s something you don’t want Jon to see ;)))))

**Martin Blackwood:** I’d rather they didn’t tbh  
**Martin Blackwood:** since it has to do with,,, you know… my big gay crush on them? 

**Tim Stoker:** naturally

_ Tim Stoker  _ set his own nickname to  _ Timbo (like himbo)   
_ _ Tim Stoker  _ set  _ Martin Blackwood’s  _ nickname to  _ Marto!  
_ _ Tim Stoker  _ set  _ Sasha James’  _ nickname to  _ Mom Friend _

**Timbo (like himbo)** : sorry that was bothering me  
**Timbo (like himbo):** so what’s bothering you marto?

**Marto!:** okay so it’s kind of dumb but um

**Mom Friend:** I’m sure it’s not, Martin!

**Marto!:** okay so…   
**Marto!:** I’m trying to pick out an outfit tomorrow which sweater should I wear?   
**Marto!:** I don’t have a lot of options on account of the fact that I’m still living in the archives but  
**Marto!:** sent a picture [image description: Three sweaters laid out on the cot in the back of the archives. The first is pale blue and patterned with white clouds, it has a rolled collar, and sparkly silver threads are sewn in around the edges of the clouds. The second is a pastel pink pullover sweater, on it is a cartoon image of a grey tabby cat wearing a pair of oversized sunglasses. The third sweater is black knit, patterned with brightly coloured checks and shapes which makes it resemble the carpet in a nineties bowling alley] 

**Timbo (like himbo):** oh these are excellent sweaters martin  
**Timbo (like himbo):** the cloud one is very soft which i enjoy but doesn’t have the chaotic nature we need for our anti-elias protest.

**Mom Friend:** I agree with tim. I think in this case the cat one is the best of both worlds. You will look very cute in it and it will piss off Elias

**Timbo (like himbo):** also i have it on good authority that jon is a cat person  
**Timbo (like himbo):** NOT a dog person, we learned that the hard way

**Marto!:** yeah…

**Timbo (like himbo):** okay i’m seriously so excited for tomorrow though  
**Timbo (like himbo):** i can’t wait to watch Elias lose it

**Mom Friend:** same. Also i cannot wait to see what jon wears 

**Timbo (like himbo):** SAME GOD

**Marto!:** haha yeah…   
**Marto!:** oh god i’m gonna die

**Mom Friend:** you’ll be okay martin! I believe in you! 

**Timbo (like himbo):** you got this marto! ;)

**Marto!:** thanks guys!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what will jon wear? how will elias cope with everyone in his workplace dressing in Unprofessional attire? will Martin every get to do arson? stay tuned to find out ;)


	7. (eight missed calls from Elias Bouchard)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dresscode violations! Everyone is gay! Elias has a Bad Time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys were so excited for this chapter and I really hope it lives up to expectation. Also this fic has really blown up since last update, thank you all so much, I really didn't expect it to get this much attention, it means so much to me that you guys like it so much!

_ Archival Assistants Chat  
_ 9:05 am

**Marto!:** oh my god  
**Marto!:** ohmygod you guys i  
**Marto!:** you guys i’m so incredibly gay

**Timbo (like himbo):** we know this and we love you  
**Timbo (like himbo):** does this mean you’ve seen what jon’s wearing?

**Marto!:** yep  
**Marto!:** somewhat glad they spend most of the day in their office because otherwise i think i would have a stroke at work 

**Mom Friend:** they look incredible holy shit

**Timbo (like himbo):** oh my goddddd  
**Timbo (like himbo):** please describe it for me i need to know

**Mom Friend:** no <3  
**Mom Friend:** if you wanted to see it, you wouldn’t have been late!

**Timbo (like himbo):** this is discrimination!  
**Timbo (like himbo):** marto?

**Marto!:** sorry tim  
**Marto!:** that’s on you

**Timbo (like himbo):** betrayal!

*****

_ Elias Bouchard _ to  _ Peter Lukas  
_ 9:20 am

_ (eight missed calls from Elias Bouchard)  _

**Elias:** Peter.  
**Elias:** Peter darling, please answer the phone. It's important.  
**Elias:** There is a mutiny taking place at my institute as we speak.  
**Elias:** Peter this is serious. Stop ignoring me.

**Peter:** We’re sorry. The number you have attempted to contast is no longer in service. If you feel this is an error in service, please check the number, and try again.

**Elias:** Peter I know that’s you. You spelt ‘contact’ wrong.

**Peter:** fUCK  
**Peter:** fine. What do you want, Elias?

**Elias:** As I said there is currently a mutiny taking place among my archival staff.   
**Elias:** Also we are literally married. Can’t you just support me for once?

**Peter:** wait are we really?

**Elias:** Is that a joke?

**Peter:** no. i genuinely find it hard to keep track sometimes

**Elias:** We’ll discuss that later.  
**Elias:** For the moment, though, I would like to focus on the problem at hand. Mainly the mutiny in my archive.   
**Elias:** For context, ONE of my employees has been exhibiting an unprofessional dress sense for several weeks now. In an attempt to remedy the issue, I sent an email to all of my archival staff reminding them of appropriate business casual attire. This morning every single archive employee INCLUDING my archivist has shown up in frankly DISTURBINGLY unprofessional dress. They are rebelling against me, Peter. I can't have this. 

**Peter:** k  
**Peter:** i fail to see what this has to do with me

**Elias:** Peter as I have said before you are my HUSBAND, a little moral support would be nice! Considering everything I’m going through

_ Peter Lukas is typing… _

**Elias:** Peter? You’ve been typing for some time now.  
_(read at 9:33 am)  
_**Elias:** Peter stop ignoring me.  
**Elias:** Fine.   
**Elias:** If you insist on behaving this way, then I want another divorce.

**Peter:** brilliant! you draw up the paperwork and send it my way then

**Elias:** Fine. 

*****

Tim is buzzing with excitement by the time he arrives at works. The outfit isn’t  _ too  _ over-the-top compared to the kinds of things Tim normally wears to work, though he has substituted skinny jeans for a black a-line skirt which he saves for special occasions, as well as heeled dress-boots, and some gold earrings as well as a nose-ring. He’s put on a bit of makeup too, not much, just some eyeliner, a bit of foundation, and some highlighter on his cheekbones.

The most important change, however, is the change Tim has made to his hair. It was likely that the decision had been the result of a small bout of mania but that’s very much besides the point. The point is that overnight Tim had bleached his hair, before dying it a light, bubble-gum pink that was sure to give Elias a heart attack when he sees it. 

Tim walks in, and gets a look first at Sasha. She is dressed in a pale turquoise button up patterned with small pink cherry blossoms, and a pair of high waisted, pleated back pants. The shirt has been left partially unbuttoned, enough to reveal a tasteful, purple lace bralette worn underneath, clearly an intentional part of the outfit. Her dark hair hangs in a loose braid over her right shoulder. She is even more astoundingly gorgeous than usual. 

“Tim!” She exclaims. “Look at you! Your hair!”

“You’re one to talk, Sash. You walking goddess.” 

She runs over, throwing her arms around his neck, she’s wearing heeled boots, which, when combined with her usual height, giving her half an inch on him. Her hair smells like coconut shampoo and Tim’s heart does a little flip in his chest. When he pulls back, Martin waves awkwardly from where he sits behind his desk, looking so very cozy in his sweater. So  _ very  _ huggable. 

“Your um… your hair looks good Tim…” his eyes drop to Tim’s legs for a moment, and his cheeks flush. “And I uhh.. I like your skirt.” 

“Marto! You look incredible.” 

“Oh um-” Martin ducks his head low between his shoulders, cheeks going even reader. “Thank you Tim. I- I mean it’s really not much um… you all put a lot more effort in then I did, um…” 

“Oh hush.” Tim grins at him. “You look  _ hot _ Martin. Don’t be mean to yourself of I will be forced to smother you with affection.”

“We both will,” Sasha pipes up. 

“Right. Sorry.” 

“Well there’s one outfit I still need to see.” Tim grins. “Is Jon in their office then?” 

“Yeah.” Sasha grins. 

“Alright well…” Tim is almost bursting with excitement at the thought of whatever it is Jon is wearing. “I’ll have to go see then, won’t I?” Without waiting for an answer, Tim knocks on Jon’s office door. 

“What?” Jon’s voice comes muffled through the door. 

“It’s Tim I need to see what you’re wearing.” 

There’s a low, throaty chuckle from inside of the room. “Alright, come in then.” 

Tim opens the door and his jaw almost hits the floor when he sees Jon, seated behind their desk, the picture of professionalism save for what they’re wearing. The first thing Tim notices is the skirt, mid-thigh length, pleated red-plaid, crossed legs, fishnet tights, knee high platform boots. His eyes move up from there to take in the rest of it, a Ramones t-shirt, and a sleeveless denim vest absolutely covered in hand stitched patches. A choker around their neck, a safety pin through one ear and a dangly skull ear hanging from the other. And then there’s the matter of the  _ makeup _ . 

Jon was wearing heavy eyeliner, and dark lipstick, and their hair, which they normally wear in a tight, professional bun, hangs lose around their neck and shoulders. 

“Can I help you, Tim?” 

“I-” Tim swallows. “Lookin’ good, boss.” 

“Yes, well. Thank you Tim.” A pause, Jon’s lips pulling up in a sly kind of smirk. “May I get back to work now?”

“Of course. I’ll just. Um. Go.” Tim doesn’t wait for a response before he all but flees Jon’s office. He sits down at his desk, putting his face in his hands, feeling his cheeks flush bright red. 

“You alright there, Tim.” It’s Sasha who speaks, resting one hand reassuringly on Tim’s shoulder. 

“Dear god.” Tim groans, finally lifting his head from his hands. “You know what Martin… I think I kind of get it.” 

The sound that falls from Martin’s lips is somewhere between a squeak and an uncomfortable laugh. 

“Same.” Sasha sighs. 

“God I can’t believe we’re the hottest division of the institute.”

Martin snorts. “Speak for yourselves.” 

“Martin!” Both Tim and Sasha exclaim at the same time.

“What?” 

“Martin Karate Blackwood, you will either love yourself or die by my sword!” Tim protests. 

“What Tim said!” 

“That’s not what the K stands for you know.” Martin says, but there’s a laugh forming behind his eyes. 

“The point still stands.” Tim brandishes a pen at him. “I’m not kidding.”

Martin sighs. “Yes, fine.”

_ Archival Assistants  
_ _ Timbo (like himbo)  _ set the chat name to  _ Jon Simpers Anonymous _

**Marto!:** Tim!

**Timbo (like himbo):** well? Am i wrong????

**Mom Friend:** no comment

**Timbo (like himbo):** ;D

*****

It’s around eleven thirty when Elias storms in, looking about as furious at Tim can remember seeing him. He claps a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing. 

“Something the matter, Mr. Bouchard?” Sasha asks, clearly feigning ignorance. 

Elias narrows his eyes at her, a stare that could level a city block. Sasha, for her part, seems wholly unaffected by the glare. “I need to speak to Jon immediately.” 

“Well, he’s in his office. Though he did ask not to be disturbed. I think he’s recording a statement.” Sasha’s voice is cool, professional, Tim is so close to crying from holding back laughter. 

“This is more important than that, Ms. James.” 

“Then by all means,” Sasha gestures to Jon’s door. “Go right ahead.”

Tim can’t stop the choked sound he makes, trying desperately to hide it behind the mug in his hand. Obviously he doesn’t hide it well enough, as Elias’ narrowed gaze turns on him.

“Something funny, Mr. Stoker?”

“What? No.” Tim forces a cough, patting the center of his chest. “Just some tea went down wrong. All fine.” 

Elias sniffs once, disdainful, before turning to know on Jon’s door. Shocking everyone, the door swings open, revealing Jon, who stands in the doorway, watching Elias with a cool, unimpressed expression. Jon's platform boots give them two inches on Elias. “Is this terribly urgent, Elias, I was in the middle of a recording.” 

“Good god, Jon. What  _ are  _ you wearing?”

Jon glances down at themself then back at Elias, expression the picture of confusion. “My clothes?” 

“It’s hardly professional attire.” Elias spits back. “What is going on down here?”

“Ah, yes.” Jon forces a polite smile. “I believe they're protesting.” 

“And you’re in support of this…  _ coup? _ ”

Tim meets Sasha’s gaze and sees that her expression is a reflection of his own, face flushed and eyes watering from holding back laughter. Martin has turned to face away from the room but his shoulders shake with silent laughter.

“Really, Elias I think everyone is just trying to have a bit of fun.”

Elias tenses a bit more at that. “This is horribly unprofessional Jon, you should not be allowing this sort of thing-”

“Well, actually spirit days aren’t uncommon in places of business. They’re a good boost for office morale.” Jon smiles, the expression not quite reaching their eyes. “Perhaps we could do a whole week of themed outfits. Wouldn’t that be fun?”

“ _ Fine _ .” Elias all but spits the word. “Do what you want, but if I receive even a single complaint, that's it. Understood?”

“Of course.” Jon replies. “Though I’m sure you won’t.” 

Elias turns on one heel and storms out of the archives, letting the door slam shut behind him.

It’s only after Tim is sure that the other man is out of range that he lets himself breathe, a hysterical giggle falling from his lips. “Oh my god Jon that was incredible.”

“Yes well.” Jon ducks their head just a bit. “Someone needed to say something to him.” A pause, and they awkwardly scratch the back of their neck. “Now, everybody get back to work.” And with that, Jon turns and walks back into their office, shutting the door behind them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyone in this archive is so pretty! also I will continue to bully Elias for the duration of this fic
> 
> (also fun little thing,,, i mentioned tim being manic in a brief line in this fic, I headcanon tim having bipolar II because I can have a little projection as a treat)


	8. 'i think our boss has a sugardaddy'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon recognizes a name in a statement, tim spills the tea (metaphorically no actual tea was harmed in the making of this chapter), sasha meets someone weird

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is kind of a weird one structurally, and I apologize for that in advance but i swear it's because i'm setting something up also this chapter contains CURSED CONTENT i wrote this on four hours of sleep hnnnn

_ Archives Crime Syndicate  
_ Thursday, 2:27 pm

**Bossman:** Odd question but does the name Peter Lukas sound familiar to any of you?

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** um i don’t think so.   
**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** why?

**Bossman:** Came up in a statement. I could’ve sworn I’d heard it before but I can’t quite place where. 

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** huh. Weird.

**Honeypot:** okay wait   
**Honeypot:** I have tea on this one

**Bossman:** ...tea?

**Tech Guy:** he means gossip  
**Tech Guy:** tim you know you can’t use slang around jon they get confused easily

**Bossman:** I resent that. 

**Honeypot:** okay you didn’t hear this from me BUT… 

_ Tim Stoker is typing…  _

**Bossman:** Tim? 

_ Tim Stoker is typing…  _

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** oh my god he’s been at it for like eight minutes what could he possibly have to say? 

**Honeypot:** okay listen  
**Honeypot:** i’m trying to find the least upsetting possible way to word this. It’s for your own protection. 

**Bossman:** what could that possibly mean?

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** Tim i’m scared

**Honeypot:** so i’ve come to the conclusion there is no good way to say this  
**Honeypot:** warning: the next sentence will punch you in the gut  
**Honeypot:** i think our boss has a sugardaddy

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** TIM WHAT

**Bossman:** How could you possibly know that information?

**Honeypot:** i’ll elaborate

_ Tim stoker is typing… _

**Tech Guy:** Oh god he’s at it again

**Honeypot:** Okay so we all know that the lukas family is one of the biggest funders of the institute which is what we THINK is why elias crawls so far up his own ass whenever we get statements about them being generally spooky, like with naomi herne. But i have it on goood authority that there’s more to it than that.   
**Honeypot:** I won’t reveal my sources on this one, but I am plugged into the institute gossip, as any self-respecting gay should be

**Tech Guy:** 'sources' tim we all know it's rosie

**Honeypot:** Anyway!!!  
**Honeypot:** So  
**Honeypot:** Peter lukas specifically, is a very weird character for a couple of reasons.   
**Honeypot:** 1\. He’s the main liaison with the lukas family and the institute,   
**Honeypot:** 2\. despite the fact that he does come in for meetings with elias every couple months, somehow the only person who has ever actually SEEN him is Rosie, apparently she only saw him ONCE and the man dresses like a cartoon sea captain  
**Honeypot:** the way he dresses isn’t relevant to the story it’s just really funny to think about  
**Honeypot:** 3\. According to my top secret source when he does come in for meetings with elias, they are usually at least an hour long and Elias absolutely INSISTS on not being disturbed  
**Honeypot:** conclusion: our boss has a sugar daddy

**Bossman:** That’s a bit of a jump don’t you think? 

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** maybe he’s just weird. Rich people are like that. 

**Honeypot:** okay there is one more piece of information to confirm my theory  
**Honeypot:** but it’s almost too awful to share

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** oh????

**Bossman:** You can’t just put that out there without following up. 

**Honeypot:** listen… one time i happened to be walking past elias’ office while they were having a meeting and I,,,,, i overheard…. Something

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** OH GOD   
**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** TIM I’M SO SORRY THAT HAPPENED TO YOU

**Bossman:** Please don’t say anything else, I’m going to throw up.

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** YOU ASKED

**Tech Guy:** tim this is the worst thing i’ve heard in months and i read the worm sex statement 

**Honeypot:** THE WHAT???

**Bossman:** Don’t worry about it. 

**Honeypot:** how am I supposed to not worry about it?

**Tech Guy:** also now that Tim’s done i have something to share  
**Tech Guy:** Peter Lukas and Elias are literally married  
**Tech Guy:** or they were last time i checked

**Honeypot:** lsflkjsljkfjlksfkslfj?????

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** THEY WHAT? 

**Honeypot:** why didn’t you SAY something earlier???? You just let me say all that????

**Tech Guy:** you were having fun :))

**Bossman:** Sasha… How exactly did you come by this information? 

**Tech Guy:** don’t worry about it :))  
**Tech Guy:** that’s not even the wildest part though

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** how could it possibly get any wilder????

**Tech Guy:** they’ve been divorced four times  
**Tech Guy:** i’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, our computer security system is atrocious

**Bossman:** Four???

**Tech Guy:** last count yes

**Honeypot:** i’m going to LOSE my MIND how long have you kept this from me

**Tech Guy:** to be fair you never asked

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** this entire conversation is like being slapped eight times in the face

**Bossman:** I am going to have a stroke. 

**Honeypot:** how is ELIAS married and i’m single this is unbelievable!

**Bossman:** I regret asking about Peter Lukas in the first place, I am going to go bleach my brain. Everyone please get back to work.

**Honeypot:** yes boss!

_ Tim  _ to  _ Sasha _

**Tim:** what other information do you have on archive staff that you’re hiding from me

**Sasha:** jon’s thirty

**Tim:** WHAT?

**Sasha:** :P

_ Sasha  _ to  _ Jon  
_ Friday, 8:45 am

**Sasha:** hey, i’m gonna be late this morning. Something weird happened.

**Jon:** Thank you for letting me know.  
**Jon:** Is everything alright?   
**Jon:** Sasha?   
**Jon:** Hello?

_ Archives Crime Syndicate  
_ 9:30 am

**Bossman:** has anyone heard from Sasha this morning? 

**Honeypot:** no, which is kind of weird because she’s never late  
**Honeypot:** something wrong

**Bossman:** She sent me a text message saying that she would be late but has yet to reply to any of my other messages. Which is unusual for her.

**Arsonist’s Lullabye:** that…. Doesn’t sound great :/ 

**Bossman:** My thoughts exactly, Martin.

**Honeypot:** hnnn  
**Honeypot:** that’s kind of worrying.

  
  


_ Tim Stoker _ to  _ Sasha James  
_ 9:55 am 

**Tim:** everything ok?  
**Tim:** sash?

_ (Tim Stoker is calling)  _

**Tim:** please let me know you’re alright, we’re worried about you.

_ Martin _ to  _ Sasha _

**Martin:** hey is everything alright?  
**Martin:** Sasha? 

_ Archives Crime Syndicate  
_ 11:40 am

**Tech Guy:** hey sorry for freaking everyone out, i’m alive and i’ll see you all soon

**Honeypot:** you okay?

**Tech Guy:** i’ll explain when i get there  
**Tech Guy:** I'm fine tho  


**Arsonist's Lulllaby:** okay, see you soon :)

_ Sasha  _ to  _ Jon  
_ 11:42 am

  
**Sasha:** i think i need to make a statement. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are beginning to happen!
> 
> (well plot stuff will find its way in this au, this is a strictly everybody lives/happy endings only au do not worry all!)


	9. 'did you turn that on?'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sasha makes a statement, the gang helps her feel better, elias is a bastard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh sorry this took so long my life has been a mess but yeah I have not forgotten about this fic i promise!
> 
> cw for mild injury and (very minimal) mentions of worms

Sasha bursts through the door to the archives just a bit after noon. Three hours too late for work. She looks haggard, there’s dirt on her clothes and blood on her shoulder, hidden just beneath a rip on her shirt. 

Tim looks up from his desk as she enters, eyes going wide with shock. “Sash, oh my god.” He stands from his desk, rushing over to her. Martin follows close behind him. “Are you alright?” 

“Yeah, I just…” she pauses, swallowing. When she speaks again her voice is less shaky. “I met someone strange. A man… or not a man. Not human.”

“What happened to your shoulder?” Tim extends a hand, but then pulls it back, realizing it's better not to touch. 

“Oh. Worm thing. It’s fine now. Michael pulled it out.” 

“Michael?”

“The thing I met. It called itself Michael,” a pause. “His hands are like knives.” 

“I’m sorry what?” it’s Martin that speaks up this time. 

“Listen, I’ll explain in a bit, I need to talk to Jon first though.” 

“Alright.” Tim pauses. “Can I give you a hug?” 

“Yes please.” 

Tim takes Sasha into his arms, careful not to touch her injured shoulder. She wraps her arms around his shoulders in return, burrowing her face in his neck. She’s shaking just a little bit, holds him tight. After a moment, Tim extends one arm. “Marto, get in here.” 

There’s a moment of stuttering and then both of them are encompassed in the warmth of Martin’s strong arms. It’s pleasant, warm. Tim pulls them both a little closer, planting a light kiss to Sasha’s temple. 

There’s the sound of a clearing of a throat behind them, and all of them break apart. Jon is standing in the doorway of their office, looking somewhat uncomfortable. “Yes uh… Sasha,” they clear their throat. “You had a statement to make?”

“Of course,” Sasha ducks her head just a bit. “Thank you,” she smiles at Tim and Martin in turn before leaving for Jon’s office. 

Sasha re-emerges about half an hour later, looking as tired as before but marginally less nervous. She smiles at both of them in turn, still looking a little worse for wear. 

“You alright?” Martin asks.

Sasha laughs just a bit at that. “Yeah, just had a bit of a scare. No long term consequences though. Sorry I scared you all.” 

“Don’t apologize,” it’s Martin who speaks. “You had a rough morning, we’ll do whatever we can to help. Would- would you like some tea maybe?”

“Yes, thank you Martin,” Sasha smiles, her smile is as bright as it always is, if a bit forced. Sasha has a smile like the sun. Tim’s chest flutters at the sight of it. 

Tim reaches out, catches Sasha’s hand in his own. She squeezes his hand in return, glancing at him with a smile in her eyes.  “If there’s anything I can do to help, just let me know,” Tim smiles back at her.

“I will.” 

“ _ Anything _ at all,” he winks.

Sasha slaps lightly at his shoulder, but doesn’t let go of his hand. “Shut up.” 

Tim throws his head back in a laugh.

Eventually Martin returns with a cup of tea. The three of them spend some time sitting on the couch in the breakroom, Tim has an arm around Sasha while Sasha rests her head on Martin’s shoulders. It’s warm, they talk about nonsense for a while. They’re on the clock but Sasha needs a break and they’re job has already proven itself to be a little traumatic. Besides, Tim knows enough about supernatural trauma to understand that Sasha is having a hard time of it. 

At some point, Jon emerges from their office, drifting into the breakroom and hovering awkwardly in the doorway for a moment, their hands fidgeting just a bit. 

“Sasha, I did say you could take the day off if you wanted,” Jon finally speaks. 

“I know I just,” Sasha lifts her head from Martin’s shoulder, “I didn’t really want to be alone.” 

Jon nods. “Alright,” to everyone’s surprise, Jon walks over to the couch, perching on the arm beside Martin, not quite touching. Martin glances up at him, cheeks flushed just a bit. 

“Oh get in here, boss,” Tim grins. “There’s room enough for all of us.” 

“Alright, yes, fine,” Jon shifts, sliding into the gap between Martin and the arm of the couch. It’s a bit cramped, and Martin has to put an arm around Jon’s waist to get them all to fit.

“Is that okay?” Martin asks, and Jon nods. 

“It’s fine, Martin. Thank you for asking.” Martin manages a smile at that, seeming to relax a bit. Tim meets Martin’s eye and winks at him. Martin blushes.

_ J _ _ on Simpers Anonymous  
_ 2:08 pm

**Timbo (like himbo):** alright marto?

**Marto!:** they put their head on my shoulder!!!! I can't breathe!!!

**Mom Friend:** tim don’t bully martin when jon can literally see his phone 

**Timbo (like himbo):** you’re telling me that isn’t the cutest shit you’ve ever seen?

**Mom friend:** oh it is.   
**Mom friend:** but you don’t want jon to see it. 

**Marto!:** I don’t wanna move i think they might have fallen asleep?  
**Marto!:** and i know they don’t get enough sleep, they’re alway s working so late  
**Marto!:** oh they’re definitely asleep oh god  
**Marto!:** guys what do I do???

**Mom friend:** to be fair you are comfy

_ Timbo (like himbo)  _ changed  _ Marto!’s  _ nickname to  _ Pillow Man _

**Pillow man:** is this my life now? 

**Timbo (like himbo):** yes  
**Timbo (like himbo):** are you complaining

**Pillow man:** nah, tbh i was thinking i would also take a nap

**Mom friend:** I second that

**Timbo (like himbo):** hell yeah! Nap time!  
**Timbo (like himbo):** elias can get fucked!

*****

Jon isn’t sure how long it’s been when they wake up. They are immediately struck by guilt, sleeping during the work day is not something they’d ever made a habit of. Perhaps they have been a little overworked recently, staying late to investigate statements regarding Prentiss. Still that’s not an excuse. 

More than that, there is the fact that Jon has well,  _ nestled _ into Martin’s shoulder a bit. Or… more than a bit, actually. Jon is at this point just grateful they didn’t accidentally drool on Martin’s jumper, it’s that light tan one, the one that always makes the gold tones in Martin’s hazel eyes show just a bit brighter and-

_ Oh. Where did that thought come from? _

Jon carefully extricates themself from the pile of assistants, before heading in the direction of their office. On their way out of the room, they notice Sasha stir, her eyes open, and she blinks blearily at Jon. Jon waves a hand dismissively at her, before exiting the breakroom. 

They’re almost at the door of their office, when they hear the door to the archives swing open, and the stuffy, smug clearing of a throat. “Ah, Jon. Just the person I was looking for.” 

Jon forces their expression into something they hope looks like a smile before turning around. “Elias, what can I do for you?” 

“I couldn’t help but notice I haven’t seen much of the archive staff about today,” his eyes are narrow, cold, and grey, and intensely focused on Jon.

“Well, yes, I suppose you wouldn’t have, given the archives are a bit out of the way,” Jon replies cooly. 

“And yet, I’m down here now, and I still don’t see anyone. Curious.”

“Ah, yes,” Jon steels themself as they meet that sharp glare. “Well, Sasha had sort of a run in with some sort of supernatural entity this morning. She came into work, but she was injured so I  _ insisted  _ she return home immediately. Tim is out following up on the location where she was attacked, and as for Martin, I sent him to the library to retrieve some materials for me. Follow up research on statement 0161301,” Jon knows that particular statement will get a reaction, and is not displeased when Elias stiffens a bit.

“The Naomi Herne statement? I thought I told you to leave that one alone?”

"Yes, well. Even you must admit, it _is_ odd."

Elias sighs. "I didn't want to have to do this, but since you _insist_ on acting childish," his lips twist into a smile and there's something behind his eyes that makes Jon feel suddenly afraid. That doesn't make sense, it's _Elias_ for gods sake. "Jon, _where are your assi-_ " 

It’s at that moment that Martin emerges from the breakroom, clutching a small selection of files -though Jon has no idea when he’d had the chance to grab them- as well as a steaming mug of tea.  “Oh! J-jon, I’ve got those files you asked for? Sorry I took a bit longer than you wanted, the stacks are a mess you know, and when I was digging through, well, I accidentally knocked some down on myself. Clumsy me, s-sorry. So I had to reorganize them and then-” 

“That’s quite alright, thank you, Martin,” Jon flashes Martin a knowing smile. “Just be a bit more careful next time would you? Most of these are the only copies we have.” 

“Right. S-sorry,” Jon’s eyes drop to the mug in Martin’s hands, and they raise an eyebrow. “Oh! I- well, I made you some tea… I know you’ve been a bit overworked recently and I thought you might need a pick me up?”

“Thank you Martin, just, set it on the desk I wouldn’t want it to accidentally spill on any of the files.” 

“Right, sorry,” Martin jolts, as if only just noticing Elias. It’s a good performance, and Jon is more than a little impressed. “Oh! Elias, hi. Something wrong?” 

Elias sighs. “Nothing that concerns  _ you _ , Martin,” the bite to his tone makes something defensive rise up in Jon’s chest. 

“Well, as you can see,  _ Elias _ , we’re very busy, and we’re understaffed with Sasha off for the rest of the day. So if there’s nothing else…” 

“Yes, well,” Elias seems a bit taken aback by Jon’s response. “I am glad to see everyone dressed in appropriate attire for a change. Although I suppose I haven’t seen Tim yet. Still one can hope. None to worry, be seeing you, as it were,” and with that, Elias turns on one heel and saunters out of the room. 

“That was-” Jon begins, they’re furrowing deeply.

“Creepy.” 

“Right,” a pause, “thank you Martin, for coming out when you did, that was quick thinking on your part.”

“Oh, um-” Martin’s cheeks flush a bit at that, “it was nothing, just… playing the incompetant, I guess. Not like Elias has any respect for me anyway.” 

“Yes, well… Elias is a dick.”

Martin bursts into a fit of giggles at that, and something warm twists in Jon’s chest that they are not quite ready to identify or acknowledge. 

"So," Jon clears their throat. "Do you think we should tell the others about... whatever that was?" 

"Yeah, I mean, probably. It was _weird_ right? Like even for him?" 

Jon nods solemnly. "I felt like... like he _knew_ I was lying. Like he could see into my head."

"Like... in a _spooky_ way?" 

Jon scoffs.

"Sorry, sorry," Martin ducks his head. "I know you hate that word, but that... it wasn't normal." 

"No I-" Jon swallows. "I don't suppose it was."

"Oh. Jon? Did you turn that on?" 

Jon looks to where Martin is pointing and there's a tape recorder sitting on the desk, steadily whirring away. Jon could have sworn it hadn't been there when they'd come out of the breakroom. "No. No I didn't," Jon reaches out with one figure and clicks the recorder off. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a weird one, mostly prose heavy I know, also a real change of pace after the shenanigans of the last one but I swear I'm going somewhere with this!


	10. 'What's the worst that could happen between now and Friday?'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some important discussions take place... what's the worst that could happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know i literally just updated but i'm so excited to keep writing this so uhh,,, yeah

_ Archives Crime Syndicate  
_ 5:10 pm 

**Bossman:** Tim, is everything alright?

**Honeypot:** ye why wouldn’t it be?

**Bossman:** I couldn’t help but notice Elias stopping you on your way out. 

**Honeypot:** oh it was just something about my hair colour being ‘childish and unprofessional’   
**Honeypot:** what a cock  
**Honeypot:** we all know he’s just mad he’s not the hottest twink in the building

**Tech Guy:** sjhfkjdsfkjhf TIM

**Honeypot:** am i wrong? 

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** okay but did he seem like,,,, weird at all

**Honeypot:** not more than his usual dickheadedness  
**Honeypot:** why? 

**Bossman:** good, that’s good

**Tech Guy:** is something wrong guys? 

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** earlier… while you two were still napping, Elias came down to the archive and he was being kind of

**Bossman:** I believe the word Martin used earlier was ‘spooky’. 

**Tech Guy:** oh?

**Honeypot:** that doesn’t sound good

**Tech Guy:** what happened?

**Bossman:** Well, I woke up before the rest of you, and I figured I should probably get back to work. I wanted to let the rest of you sleep. You… seemed like you needed it.

**Honeypot:** awwwww boooossss  
**Honeypot:** yooure going soft on u

**Tech Guy:** tim this is serious  
**Tech Guy:** you can bully jon later

**Bossman:** As I was saying.  
**Bossman:** it was as I was about to enter my office that Elias came into the archives. This in itself was odd, as you all know Elias doesn’t check in on us unless there’s some sort of emergency.  
**Bossman:** What was stranger still, was that he started asking about where the three of you were. He said that he hadn’t seen much of you all day. Which, it’s not like he sees a lot of the archival staff more generally, with his office being on the third floor, and the archives being in the basement.   
**Bossman:** So, naturally I didn’t tell him that the three of you were, well, asleep on the job, as that would have gotten me in as much trouble as the rest of you. Instead I made up some excuse for where each of you had gone off to.   
**Bossman:** But here’s where it gets strange.

**Tech Guy:** we’re not at the strange part yet?

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** not yet

**Bossman:** He didn’t seem to believe me, but it was more than that, it was something about his eyes, like he could SEE the lie, like he was looking into me. He started to ask me something else, and the words felt… Wrong. Somehow. Filled my head with static. Then Martin came out, which, again thank you for that Martin. 

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** oh um  
**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** you’re welcome Jon :)

**Honeypot:** okay what the fuck  
**Honeypot:** wait marto you said you also noticed something weird

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** oh I mean  
**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** well, I woke up and i started making tea and then I heard elias talking to jon, and i couldn’t hear all of it, because of the door but i heard snippets and Elias he… he said something really weird, right before i came out  
**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** he said ‘I didn’t want to have to do this’ 

**Bossman:** that was when he started to ask me something, and when Martin came out. 

**Tech Guy:** okay  
**Tech Guy:** do what, exactly?

**Bossman:** I mean, I’m probably overreacting. The most likely scenario is that he was about to threaten some kind of disciplinary action. 

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** Yes, but then why did he stop when I came out? 

**Tech Guy:** Martin’s right, Jon. That doesn’t sound normal. 

**Bossman:** If I read something like that in a statement, I would be immediately skeptical. I have to approach my own experiences with the same objectivity as I do the experiences of others. 

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** :/

**Tech Guy:** that’s not how that works jon

**Bossman:** regardless. I think it best we all exercise a bit more caution around Elias for the time being. 

**Honeypot:** should we unleashe the arsonist? 

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** !!!!

**Bossman:** that won’t be necessary

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** oh :(

**Bossman:** at least not yet

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** :D

_ Jon Simper’s Anonymous  
_ 1:52 am

**Pillow Man:** i’m worried about jon

**Timbo (like himbo):** why are you even awake right now?

**Pillow Man:** i’m doing an experiment  
**Pillow Man:** since i’ve been staying in the institute, i not iced that jon is usually still here when i fall asleep, which I was starting to find a little bit concerning.   
**Pillow Man:** so i was trying to stay up until they left  
**Pillow Man:** but they’re still here 

**Timbo (like himbo):** oh my god? 

**Pillow Man:** yeah… I can hear them mumbling in their office, I think they’re recording a statement? 

**Timbo (like himbo):** it’s the middle of the night??? 

**Pillow Man:** like i said  
**Pillow Man:** i’m worried about them  
**Pillow Man:** also i know they really downplayed the elias thing but… it was actually really creepy. 

**Timbo (like himbo):** alright, we’ll figure something out  
**Timbo (like himbo):** i think sash is asleep right now, but we can all make a plan in the morning  
**Timbo (like himbo):** try to get some sleep, okay?

**Pillow man:** okay

7:30 am

**Mom Friend:** okay i’m caught up  
**Mom Friend:** so it seems like priority one is to get Jon to leave work earlier  
**Mom Friend:** the elias thing is obviously not something we can deal with immediately

**Pillow Man:** i mean, at least I’m there too? So jon’s not by theirself 

**Timbo (like himbo):** yes but martin, you can’t stay in the institute forever

**Pillow Man:** no, but I can’t exactly go back to my flat until we deal with Prentiss either, can I?

**Timbo (like himbo):** fair point

**Mom Friend:** our lives really have taken a weird turn these past couple months, huh?

**Pillow Man:** tell me about it :/

**Mom Friend:** okay but how about this, we got Jon out for drinks last week right?

**Pillow Man:** yeah

**Mom Friend:** so why don’t we invite them out again this week? That’ll at least get them out of the institute at a reasonable hour, and help them loosen up. Maybe we can talk to them then?

**Pillow Man:** okay that could work!

**Timbo (like himbo):** hooray for alcohol!

**Mom Friend:** tim…

**Pillow Man:** he’s a little confused but he’s got the spirit  
**Pillow Man:** it’s a good plan we still have another week because friday night rolls around

**Mom Friend:** true  
**Mom Friend:** but until then, we can just,,, try to be nice to them. Make sure they know there are people around to take care of them.   
**Mom Friend:** what’s the worst that could happen between now and Friday?

**Timbo (like himbo):** SASHA

**Mom Friend:** what?

**Pillow Man:** you jinxed it

**Mom Friend:** you’re both ridiculous. 

_ Archives Crime Syndicate  
_ 9:30 am

**Honeypot:** so jon! Pub night again friday?

**Bossman:** oh um  
**Bossman:** well, I do have quite a lot of work to do this week

**Tech Guy:** nope to bad  
**Tech Guy:** staying late on fridays is against the rules

**Honeypot:** you have to come!   
**Honeypot:** think of how sad martin will be if you don’t!

**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** Tim!  
**Arsonist’s Lullaby:** i mean, obviously I’d love it if you came, but don’t feel pressured or anything, Jon :)

**Bossman:** Why does this feel like an ambush? 

**Honeypot:** an ambush of fun!  
**Honeypot:** ;)

**Bossman:** oh, alright.   
**Bossman:** same bar as before?

**Honeypot:** yep

**Tech Guy:** same place, same time!

**Bossman:** alright then  
**Bossman:** now, I’d appreciate it if you all stopped texting and got back to work? Especially since I wouldn’t be surprised if Elias was planning to pop in  
**Bossman:** I haven’t seen him today but after what happened Friday, I’d rather avoid any confrontation 

**Honeypot:** yes boss *salute*

****

The week goes smoothly until Wednesday evening, at which point, Jon attempts to kill a spider, and smashes through a wall, unleashing a hoard of worms. 

On the top floor of the institute, Elias Bouchard steeples his fingers beneath his chin and  _ smiles.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahaha whoops (I promise no one dies in this version but that doesn't mean they avoid trauma completely)


	11. 'run'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> worms part one :)))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is kind of angsty, once again I promise this is an everybody lives fic, but it is still TMA so you know.... it's gonna get worse before it gets better. 
> 
> content warnings for mild injury and nondescript mentions of worms

Jon, Martin, and Sasha are hunkered down in the back room of the archives, with Martin hunched over Jon, a corkscrew buried in their upper thigh. Jon cries out in pain, pressing their head into Martin’s shoulder to muffle the scream just a bit. 

“I got it!” Martin exclaims, tossing the worm to the floor and crushing it underfoot. 

“Fucking hell,” Jon groans between gritted teeth. 

“Sorry, sorry…” Martin blanches a bit. “I don’t exactly have a lot of surgical experience,” a pause. “You okay?” 

“I- yes. I’m alright,” they flash a smile at Martin. “Suppose I found religion?”

“What?” 

“I’m  _ holy _ ,” Jon grins. 

Martin bursts into laughter at that. “I can’t believe this, the great Jonathan Sims makes a pun. I wish Tim was here to see it,” Martin’s face goes suddenly very pale. “Wait. Oh god where’s Tim?” 

“Shit,” Jon tries to stand, crying out in pain and sinking back down onto the ground. 

“Jon, don’t get up,” Martin puts a hand on their shoulder. “Sasha, when did you see Tim last?”

“He went to lunch, I think,” Sasha’s brow furrows deeply. “Oh god, he’ll be back soon, we have to call him. We have to-”

“There’s no service down here. You can try a message, maybe that’ll get through but-” Jon lets out a low, pained sound. “ _ God _ . The only thing we can really do is wait and hope he sees something before he comes down here.” 

Sasha shakes her head. “He has to be okay,” she peers on through the window, her breathing nervous. 

“Well, we can’t do much but wait, can we,” Jon snaps, they tip their head back, thumping their skull against the wall. “We’re gonna fucking die down here,” Jon inhales a deep, shaky breath, squeezing their eyes tight shut. “Worm food, god what a way to go.” 

“Jon, hey,” Martin’s voice comes surprisingly stern, pulling Jon out of their spiral. His hand comes up to cup Jon’s cheek, gentle, almost tentative. “Look at me, Jon. We’re not gonna die, alright?” 

Jon looks at him then, his eyes are still wild, but they settle on Martin’s. Martin’s eyes, warm hazel eyes, flecks of gold and green do bright and soothing. Jon takes another slow breath and nods. “Sorry. I got a bit… carried away.” 

“That’s alright,” Martin lets his hands fall away from Jon’s face. “You’re still bleeding.”

“Oh. Um, yes well… we can deal with that later. Once-”

“Tim!” Sasha exclaims, pulling both Jon and Martin’s attention to the window. “Tim! Oh god, Tim please look!” She slaps her hand against the window.

“He can’t hear you,” Jon sighs, “the room is soundproof.”

“God she’s right behind him, oh Tim look! Please!” 

Martin too rushes over to the window. “Shit. Tim!” 

“He really can’t hear you,” Jon groans. 

“Fine, fuck this,” and then Sasha throws open the door, bursting out in the direction of Tim. Martin makes a grab for her, but she slips past, racing out into the room. 

Martin thumps his forehead heavily against the glass of the window. “Fuck.” 

*****

Tim walks into the Archive with his headphones in, dancing along to his music. The first thing he finds notable is the tape recorder on the floor, which he stoops to pick up, hips still swaying with the music he listens to. He removes the headphones, bringing the recorder up to how lips to speak into it. 

“Statement of Joe spooky, regarding sinister happenings in the downtown ar-” 

And then abruptly Sasha is shouting his name. A body collides with his won, knocking him to the ground, sending him sprawling. And standing over them both, is a monstrous form that he’s sure can only be Jane Prentiss. 

“Run,” Sasha says, face inches from his own. Tim doesn’t have to be told twice. 

*****

Martin watches through the window the exchange between Tim and Sasha, narrates to Jon -still unable to stand- the way the two split off in opposite directions, as Sasha runs to the stairs and Tim runs to hide in Jon’s office. 

“Oh god, oh god he went into your office and that’s-” Martin chokes, he remembers Tim telling him he’s one of his best friends, remembers so many little moments between the two of them, and feels tears well up behind his eyes. “Oh god, that’s where they came through he’s- oh god he’s dead the worms have got him oh god he-”

“Martin!” Jon interjects, and Martin looks down at him. “We don’t know he’s dead. And there’s nothing we can do about it now. Just…” they trail off for a moment, brow furrowing deeply. “Come sit with me.” 

Martin nods once, before sliding down the wall to sit beside Jon. The tips of their finders brush where their hands touch, and Martin is overcome by the ache to take Jon’s hand in his own. 

_ Well… we might die so… no time like the present. _

Martin moves their hand a bit closer to Jon's. “Is-” he cuts himself off. “Is this okay?” 

Jon surprises Martin by taking his hand in their own, lacing their fingers together, offering a gentle, but reassuring squeeze. “It’s alright.” 

They sit like that for a long moment, hand-in-hand, neither knowing just what to say. Martin worries his hand might sweat, but Jon makes no comment.

Then comes the thumping on the wall, an incessant pounding which Martin finds his heart matching pace with. The moment the plaster caves he clutches Jon’s hand tight, burying his face in their shoulder. He supposes there are worse ways to go, all things considered, and he squeezes his eyes tight shut. 

“Hi guys!” Martin glances up in surprise, and finds himself looking at Tim. Tim grinning wide and wielding a startling amount of fire extinguishers. He was a little dirty but didn’t look too worse for wear. 

“Tim!” Martin climbs abruptly to his feet. “Oh my god! You’re alive!”

“‘Course I am!” Tim’s grin widens, he starts to say something else, but Martin lunges forwards, wrapping his arms around Tim’s neck and pulling him into a hug. “Hey…” Tim says, his voice a bit quieter in response to Martin’s shaking. “It’s okay, I’m here alright.” 

Martin buries his face in Tim’s neck for a long moment before pulling back. “And Sasha?” 

“She’s alright,” Tim holds him close for a moment longer, pressing his forehead against Martin’s. “Ran off to warn Elias, the worms mostly followed me so... I'm sure she's fine.” There’s a long moment in which Martin thinks Tim might kiss him, a stranger moment in which he thinks he might kiss Tim back if he did. He's sure it's just the adrenaline really. It must be.

Behind them Jon groans, and Martin’s attention is once again on his injured friend. 

“Jon?” Tim frowns. “Are you alright?”

“Yes just-” another small, pained groan, “bit trouble standing at the moment.” 

“Well come on then, we'll hep you. Up you get,” Tim holds out a hand. “We’ve gotta get moving, you know.” 

“To where?” Jon frowns, and Tim and Martin help them to their feet. 

“Into the tunnels of course! Not many worms left in there now, I think they mostly came into the institute actually.”

“Well then,” Jon allows themself to hang a bit more weight off Tim and Martin, “I suppose we should get moving.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's kind of a short one, but I hope the fluffy moments make up for it a bit


	12. 'you need a door...'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> worms part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see end notes for content warnings

Sasha’s first destination was Elias’ office, she didn’t bother to knock, throwing open the door probably harder than was strictly necessary. She couldn’t help herself in that regard, months of having the problems ignored, culminating in the horror show currently taking place in the archives has filled her with a bone deep anger. 

Still, she’d talked to him, and he’d argued with her, telling her he had assumed it wasn’t all that much of a problem. Sasha had wanted to punch him right then and there. She hadn’t, but the thought had lingered in her mind like a fantasy. 

Now she was separated from Elias, she really hoped he’d gone in the direction of the fire alarms like he’d said he was going to. 

Now Sasha finds herself in the musty space of artifact storage. It’s quiet here, save for the distant trilling of the fire alarm, which seems so strangely far from her now she’s in this place. She hates this place, the dim lights and the narrow aisles reminding her of the brief period she’d spent working there. She hadn’t lasted too long, the work had been too much, she’d seen too many things in that place. Now she was back there, those winding aisles seemed to close in around her, to suffocate her while she tried so hard just to breathe. 

Her mind wanders to the others. To Jon and Martin hunkered down in that sealed room. Poor Martin, who’d spent so long hunkered down in that back room, unable to go home for fear of the very thing that had come for him here as well. She thinks of Tim, sprinting off in the direction of an uncertain fate. She thinks of things unsaid and something sinks in the pit of her stomach. 

She shakes off the feeling, she can’t focus on that right now. She needs to pull herself together, she’ll be damned if she’s going to die in  _ artifact storage _ for god’s sake.

There was a table near the entrance to artifact storage. One which had been delivered under Jon’s name by two cockney delivery men. Sasha hadn’t taken the time to look at it when it had first arrived; after all, it wasn’t her job anymore. Now though, now she stands over the thing, and she takes the time to really  _ look _ at it. She stares at it for a long time, her eyes trailing over the intricate, web-like pattern engraved on its surface. She approaches it, reaching out to run a hand over its surface, her fingers are just about to brush the tabletop when the sound of high, warbling laughter makes her jump. 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” the voice is high and strangely staticky. Distorted. 

Sasha jumps, turning around to find herself looking at a yellow door which could not possibly have been there, and which could not possibly lead anywhere, given that it is affixed to nothing. And yet, the door  _ is _ there, and it  _ must  _ lead somewhere, because she can see a hallway leading off a great distance. Something tall, and vaguely resembling the shape of a man unfolds itself from within the confines of the doorway. It looms over her, it’s neck bent at such an angle that she’s sure the bones should have snapped, it’s eyes are two swirling orbs of ever changing hue -though she can never tell the exact moment when the colour changes-, and it smiles at her. Too wide. Too many teeth. A stretch of lips tearing at the corners of its face. 

Sasha isn’t afraid of the thing that looks down at her, though she imagines most would be. She’s met this thing before, she knows it. 

“Michael,” her voice barely shudders with the words. “What are you doing here?”

The thing laughs again. “There will be time for that later, for now,” it holds out one and, many-jointed fingers curving like blades where they come to an end. “You need to step away from that table and come with me. Before it comes for you.” 

“What do you-” suddenly Sasha can hear something, footsteps echoing off the floor of the chamber, coming towards him. “What is that?” 

Michael’s smile widens. “The clock’s ticking, Miss James. You don’t have long before it takes you. You  _ need _ a door...”

Sasha can hear something moving between the shelves, a clicking like heeled shoes one moment, no like hooves, now the muffled sound of socks on the bare floor, now the sound of something wet being dragged. The sound shifts in form yes, but one thing is certain, it’s getting closer. Sasha glances between Michael and the table, her heart jumping into her throat. 

Michael taps the tips of its fingers together impatiently. The sound is like marbles clicking off one another. It rings in her ears. 

“So what’ll it be?” It extends one great, sharp hand, Sasha looks at it for a long moment, then swears, reaching out and taking Michael’s hand in hers, allowing herself to be pulled into the door and into the hallways. Choosing to trust one monster to save herself from another. 

*****

The tunnels are a maze, twists and turns, winding ever-deeper and spiraling more and more. But Martin’s hand is warm in Tim’s, and he squeezes it hard in reassurance. 

And then there’s another wave of worms, and it’s all running and blood, and suddenly Martin’s hand is gone from his, and Tim wasn’t sure when it left, head to funny from the carbon dioxide. He and Jon are catching their breath, finally away from the worms, and suddenly Jon comes to the realization. 

“Where’s Martin?” 

“What?” Tim shakes his head, trying to clear away the fog. 

“Martin? He was right behind us where-” 

“Shit,” Tim swears, thumping his head back against the wall. “He was right here, I was holding his hand and then- god we could try messaging him?”

“It won’t go through, not now. If we could get back to my office… maybe then…” 

“Right, okay. This way I think.”

The two take off in the direction of Jon’s office. 

It’s just after they arrive that the worms overwhelm them, that the burrowing pain comes, that the world goes hazy and fills with a great, shrieking scream, and then Tim passes out.

*****

When Tim comes to, he's in a medical tent, with bandages wrapped around the side of his face, and a head full of fog. The nurse is asking him a bunch of questions, and Tim fumbles his way through answering them. He can see Jon too, bandaged and haggard. The two make eye contact from across the table, and share a brief smile. 

Tim doesn’t see Martin or Sasha. He’s not sure if he’s relieved they’re unharmed or worried what that could mean for their wellbeing. 

Eventually the nurse wanders away from him, and Tim pulls out his phone.

_ Archives Crime Syndicate  
_ 6:37 pm

**Honeypot:** Martin? Sasha? Are you two alright?   
**Honeypot:** Jon and I are getting medical attention, please let us know you’re okay.  
**Honeypot:** guys?

*****

The first thing Tim notices when they finally let him out of quarantine is Sasha. She’s standing among the other evacuated staff of the institute, most of whom look, well, confused and disgruntled. Jon stands with her, and the two seem to be caught in some sort of discussion. Tim rushes over to her, and she smiles when she sees him, though it’s an exhausted thing. 

“Sash, you’re alright!” he exclaims, throwing his arms around her. She hugs him back, gently, way of his great many bandages. 

“Tim, oh my god. Are you okay?” 

Tim forces a smile in spite of his pounding head. “All good, just some worms and a bit too much carbon dioxide. EMTs said bedrest, keep the bandages clear. Should be back to normal in no time. And besides, scars are way sexy,” he winks. 

Sasha laughs a bit at that. “Well, I’m glad to see your vanity hasn’t suffered any.” 

Tim frowns a bit. “No sign of Martin?” 

Sasha shakes her head. “Not yet,” her voice wavers just a bit. “I hope he’s alright.” 

“I- I’m sure he’s fine,” Jon sounds as if they’re reassuring themself as much as they are Tim and Sasha. “It’s like you said, there weren’t that many worms down there, after they all fled into the institute proper, and CO2 from the fire suppression system wouldn’t have reached him so…” Jon nods, seemingly to themself. “Martin is  _ fine _ , he must be. Perhaps he’s still finding his way out of the tunnels, they were certainly confusing enough to navigate.” 

“Right,” Tim doesn’t sound as sure as he’d like to. He’s dizzy, he wants to sit down, he wants to go  _ home _ , but the thought of leaving without knowing Martin is alright, well he can’t bear the thought. So instead the three of them stand in tense silence, too tired and too nervous to know exactly what to say. 

At some point Elias approaches them, spouting off some comments about mandatory paid leave to recover, with a smugness that implies he thinks he’s being some kind of good Samaritan rather than offering the bare minimum of human decency. Tim has to shove his hands deep in his pockets to hide his clenched fists, biting his cheek to keep down the urge to lash out and punch that smug smirk off the other man’s face. 

This whole thing was Elias’ fault to begin with, if he’d just  _ listened  _ to them when they’d told him the worms were a problem none of this would have happened. He wouldn’t have been eaten by worms, neither would Jon. If he’d just listened to them then Martin would be-

No. Tim cuts off that train of thought where it begins. Martin is alright, he has to be alright. He allows himself to release the breath he’s been holding only after Elias walks away. A slow, shaky thing.

“Listen,” Sasha’s tone is low, low enough that only Tim and Jon can hear her. “After all this there’s something I need to tell you guys. Something about Elias…” 

Tim opens his mouth to say something, but Jon speaks first.

“Not here,” they intone firmly. “ Later, when Martin gets back.” 

Sasha nods, her gaze going hard with determination.

Tim squeezes his eyes tight shut, and tries not to think for a while. It’s all going to be fine, he just needs to wait. Martin will show up, and they’ll all be fine, and then Tim is going to go home and sleep for three days straight. 

And it’s at that moment that Martin emerges from the institute shouting about a body and the world gets -impossibly- even messier than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW  
> \- panic  
> \- light body horror  
> \- it/it's as a personal pronoun  
> \- references to injury/scars  
> \- worms

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on twitter @muse_appollo or on tumblr as twink-biwalker if you wanna talk about magpod....


End file.
